BORED

Boredom is something i find myself feeling often. Everything requires planning and money, so in the end being home wondering what the rest of the world is doing is a constant for me at least every weekend for the past two months. Desperately waiting for the moment that maybe just maybe something worth while can happen without the downfall of my bank account… or even having to involve multiple people… sometimes its easy to blame myself and say i am the boring one but what about the people around me? it cant all be me… do i attract people that don’t want to experience life? i remember when i was so busy that i would have to see three people in one day from different spectrums of my life… now i cant even say i know where they are at this moment…This adult thing is terrible it just feels like the older i get the more spread apart and lonely i will be… while i have blessed with a great partner and a tight circle of girlfriends… i need more… im not ready to have kids and throw it all away … i dont want to be 60 and go wow i didnt do shit… thats, to me, worse then any break up i have ever experienced… oh well……………..maybe tomorrow wont be so boring… 

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